[INTERVIEW] Secret's Sunhwa(4): "Loneliness was my biggest enemy."

Continuing from Part 3

After many twists and turns, Sunhwa became a trainee. However, she did not know that her biggest trial was yet to come. It was loneliness. Coming to Seoul from Busan alone, loneliness was the hardest thing to endure for the 20-year-old.

“People who never lived away from alone have no idea how hard it is. Eating alone was hard, and most of all, turning off the lights and going to bed alone was so scary. After living like that for a while, I became depressed and lost a lot of weight.”

This was when she felt the absence her parents the most. She never had any aegyo(cuteness) towards her parents, but because she couldn't see them often, she became more sentimental every time they talked on the phone.

She also spoke fondly of her siblings(younger). Her difficult time away from home had made her into a mature adult.

“Both my parents worked ever since I was young, so I had to watch my siblings. I cooked for them and made sure they studied, but I was not a good older sister. I was very strict to them. I had no choice since I had to take care of them in place of my parents.”

Sunhwa had went through the interview with a smile on her face, but began to tear up as she began to talk about her parents.

“My mom raised me as best as she could. I want to give her her youth back. My mom gave birth to me when she was around my age so she's very young. Maybe that's why she's understands me like a friend. I found out later that my mom had her own talents and dreams of becoming a part of the entertainment industry. But she got married too early and had me, so she just gave up on her dreams. My mom used to joke that 'Back then, my hobby was raising kids.' but that brought tears to my eyes.”

Sunhwa had tears running down her cheeks by the time she calmly finished her story. The interview was put on hold until Sunhwa could compose herself.

“There was a period in 1998 when my dad was unemployed. I just happened to see my dad's diary then and I remember reading 'I'm so sorry that I can't bring home money for my wife or give my children their allowance.' I slept next to him that day but I couldn't stop crying.”

Once again, Sunhwa's eyes were filled with tears.

Part 5 coming soon.

Source: Asia E (4)
Credits: dunlop09 @ secretfour